Close your eyes and think.
Think realllllly hard about the most prehistoric, disgusting thing
walking this Earth. If you are anything
like me, a roach will come to mind.
Nothing makes me want to get a blow torch and a can of gasoline faster
than the site of a roach in the house.
Nothing! I’m not even talking
your standard roach; I’m talking the Texas-sized, knife wielding, boot wearing,
flying tree roach to which nothing is comparable. Don’t you dare look them in the eye or they’ll
be in your hair or dive bombing your pets at record-setting speeds.
I am a reasonable person (90% of the time) and I know that
no matter how clean your house is, no matter how diligent you are with your
quarterly exterminations, no matter how hard you pray that you never see one
again…an occasional tree roach will stroll into your home and make you question
life. They aren’t seeking dirt, food, or
anything specific really, they just wound up in your house by accident. Believe me, they would rather be outside
where they belong but for whatever reason, they are inside now. Just you, them and a really long vacuum
extension (or blow torch).
So, needless to say, our quarterly extermination is now
scheduled for tomorrow morning which includes an outside treatment for the
yard, plants and trees – you have to hit them where it hurts. We may or may not have slept in a different
room away from the master bath where this idiot was seen (at my request) which
means that my husband and I, and our dog, crammed into a queen size bed in one
of the guest rooms. I have no shame.
I feel the need to fly the “Come and Take It” flag now – I will
be victorious.
